So I tried this new thing.....staying in pajamas all day long. The image I had of tha day in my head was not quite the image that was!
I envisioned staying in my pajamas and hanging on the couch maybe playing a little in each of the boys rooms. A relaxing naptime where both of my boys napped I had, at the most, 2 glorious hours to myself. A take-out dinner and an early bedtime! Sounds like I could die and go to heaven!
Well the actuallity of the day was very very different. Woke up and started the day in a relaxing way.Boys woke up played on the couch with cartoons for a bit and I got to facebook and blog in somewhat peace. Then the boys moved to legos while I finished blogging. They played so nice together it was a joy to be able to sit and watch them!! Once Kent got up the day went differently. (Not because he got up but probably more of then time of the day :) !!) So we came up on lunchtime and both boys were hungry so I made turkey sandwiches and they were happy. I snacked on some chips and dip and Kent was good for the time. So not bad as far as making lunches go! Pretty easy. Then as 1 o'clock neared Brady was getting tired and cranky. So by 1:30 I could take his whinyness no more so off to bed I went to read books and put him down. He fell asleep quickly! Phew the start to my relaxing naptime. At 3, aftre I picked up the kitchen from lunch, Kent says go get some lunch. Well I wasn't that hungry as I snacked on too many chips but he was, so I said you go get it! But ahhhh the Florida Gators were on TV and he was engrossed in that. So I said ok....what do you want, he tells me Qdoba. I said ummmm no! How about something that I an run and drive thru.....so Carl's Jr. was on the menu. So off I headed. And this time in the car is probably the most relaxing part of my day. I have no one to answer to and I can listen to whatever I want in the car! I love driving by myself!!!!!!! As I am sitting in the drive thru line waiting for my food, my mind is thinking of all of the things that are needing to get done.....and one glaring one pops into my mind.....Ahhh Brady is out of diapers and will need one as soon as he gets up! Yikes! So I race home wolf down my food then leave my boys again! Off to safeway....now I debated on actually getting dressed but I thought eh who cares! So off I went in my pajamas! The funniest moment of the day happened at Safeway...as I am pulling into the parking lot it is somewhat busy, as far as safeway goes, and there is an older gentleman pushing his cart back to the building after unloading his groceries into his car. So I politely wait for him to cross the street - well he makes it about 3 steps then heaves his cart to the building!! It was the funniest thing to see - and as he walked away I could tell he enjoyed doing just that!!
Back home again putting groceries away....while I was at the store I thought ohhh let's male sugar cut out cookies! The boys will have so much fun with that! Well as it was nearing 5 pm I decided to get the already made dough then we could just cut out the shapes! The boys had fun picking out their cookie cutters and we just about made one of every shape you can think of. As I was cutting out and baking cookies the boys really had a hankering for playing in the flour - at first I was like oh no!!! That is soooo not going to happen - I'll have flour everywhere!!! But as I thought about it more I decided to let them do it, what's a little cleaning when the activity brings such joy to my boys! So they sat on the counter and I dumped some flour in the middle and the playing began! The best part was them putting their hands in it and then clapping! Oh the smiles that brought out!! What a mess and what fun! Then I told them ok now you have to clean up so I pulled chairs over to the sink, filled one side with bubbles and turned on the faucet, then turned them loose on the cookie cutters and themselves!! Oh the mess!! Oh the fun!! Flour everywhere, including them, and then it was covered in water! They played in the sink I finished baking and cleaned the counter and flour. Changed them while the cookies cooled and then we were on our way to decorating!
BEST part of the day! The boys had soo much fun decorating and eating cookies!! There was frosting and sprinkles everywhere!!! Dylan took a bite of each cookie he made and Brady licked frosting from everyone he made! Brady had frosting everywhere and kept asking for more cookies! It was fun and messy! Finally we finished that and I sent the boys away so I could clean up the next mess of the day. I fed them some soup and thought ahhh now they can play with Daddy and I can sit for 5 minutes. Nope not the case at all!! The boys rooms were a mess!! And impossible to play in! So Kent was on the phone and the boys wanted to play NOW so I rushed into their rooms and started a clean up game, Both boys wanted to help but not in a good way! Everything I picked up was wanting to be played with.....so I went quickly and picked everything up! After I finished both rooms the boys no longer wanted to play and it was getting late. So I sat with Brady on the couch for a relasing wiggles show, then went to put him to bed. Some books and singing later and he was asleep! By the time I made it back to the living room Dylan had fallen asleep on the couch, so I put him to bed. Went back to the couch ready for a little me time! Kent was watching some Sport Center and it quickly out me to sleep, at 10:30! Next time I woke up it was 3:30 and Kent and I were asleep on the couch! I dragged us to bed and slept away!
The day lacked the me time I thought it was going to have but made uo for it with the fun time I had with the boys! I have also decided that with a 4 year old and a 2 year old it is impossible to have "relaxing" day. So my plans for today do not include relaxing!! Ha ha!! I have also realized that it is extremely hard for me to relax....I am person that needs to be busy! So busy I be! Ha! One day when I am old and my boys are grown I will look back fondly at these memories of being busy!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Halloween Time!
WOW What a month it has been!
I will be honest I am, excited for trick or treating with my little ones......but I am ready for November!
Part of my readiness is that I put out my decorations too early. The last weekend of September and I just couldn't wait any more!! So up went the pumpkins, ghosts and scarecrows! So as we enter the last weekend of October I am ready to stop looking at those same items in my house!!!
We have been to 2 pumpkin patches!! The first was Andersen Farms and it was soooooo fun! They had animals galore! We got to see a 2 week old goat and a couple 2 month old ones. Watch chickens and ducks squawk away. And even got to feed the goats. And that was just the beginning! There was a hale bale maze and a walled in maze, there was also a corn maze but we didn't get there! The boys played for a loooong time on a wooden train with 5 different cars. Dylan road a tricycle through a tire track. And they got to climb a tire mountain! Finally after finishing all this fun stuff we decided it was time to head to that patch! So we waited in line and jumped on the hay wagon when it arrived! The first stop the wagon made was by a group of cows. There were 4 big ones and 2 babies. The babies stayed in the shade but the big ones lumbered over to us and we got to feed them! Dylan did it once and found out that cows have very long and rough tongues! That was all he needed he was done, but did enjoy watching the cows eat. Brady liked to throw the food over the side for the cows. What a fun experience!! Then the wagon took us far away and into the patch. We jumped out and saw sooooo many pumpkins! And so many different kinds. Dark orange ones, bumpy ones, tall, short, fat, huge, red ones, etc! Brady found his pretty quickly then carried it around. I found a slightly smaller one with a long stem and tried to trade him but he told me "NO, This Brady's pumpkin!" So he was done. Soon after Dylan found his and then we were on a hunt for Mommy's!! The boys helped and we found a big tall one for Mom! Then we got back on the wagon and headed for the farm. We had to play on the wooden train one more time and then finally made it to the pay area. Both boys got to pick out 2 little ones then we left! It was a crazy place but soooo much fun! It may be the only patch we go to from now on!
The other patch we went to was with Grandma and Auntie and Uncle! This one was Rock Creek Pumpkin Patch! IT was fun they had fields and fields on pumpkins!! And they have the best mountain backdrop!! We took lots of orange pictures and picked out 2 more pumpkins! We doubled this pumpkin visit with my birthday so we didn't stay and play but instead went out to lunch and then had a great time playing at Grandma's house!!
The following week was filled with getting stuff ready for a Halloween party that I was hosting with Kendra. Along with that was Dylan's school Parade and Halloween party. He was so cute and so excited to show off his Anakin costume and see what all of his friends were. Then he shared his party experience with his brother which was so sweet! They got to decorate their own cookies and eat them! Both boys thought that was a blast! After their food the boys took the pumpkins that they brought and drew faces on them then they hammered a golf tee into the top of them to make holes. They did this all over the top then put dum dum suckers into the hole that they made. The dum dums were the pumpkins hair! It was so cute and the boys loved doing it. Once Brady's suckers were in he continued drawing his face. As he did he worked his way through tasting all of his hair suckers!! So cute!!
The following day we helped Kendra host a super fun Halloween party at her house!! There was mummy juices, Halloween shaped turkey sandwiches, eyeball taco salad, mummy cheese, hot dog worms, Halloween shaped homemade chips, cake pops, cupcakes, and more!! We also had beautiful decorations, a gross out table, pumpkin bowling, glow stick balloons, playdough, a pumpkin pinata filled with goodies, and a donut eyeball making station! It was busy with 15 little ones running around but oh so much fun!! I can't wait until next years!
This brings us to this weekend where so far we have nothing planned!! But knowing us that will soon change!!! We are all looking forward to trick or treating on Monday but first need a little R&R this weekend!!
I will be honest I am, excited for trick or treating with my little ones......but I am ready for November!
Part of my readiness is that I put out my decorations too early. The last weekend of September and I just couldn't wait any more!! So up went the pumpkins, ghosts and scarecrows! So as we enter the last weekend of October I am ready to stop looking at those same items in my house!!!
We have been to 2 pumpkin patches!! The first was Andersen Farms and it was soooooo fun! They had animals galore! We got to see a 2 week old goat and a couple 2 month old ones. Watch chickens and ducks squawk away. And even got to feed the goats. And that was just the beginning! There was a hale bale maze and a walled in maze, there was also a corn maze but we didn't get there! The boys played for a loooong time on a wooden train with 5 different cars. Dylan road a tricycle through a tire track. And they got to climb a tire mountain! Finally after finishing all this fun stuff we decided it was time to head to that patch! So we waited in line and jumped on the hay wagon when it arrived! The first stop the wagon made was by a group of cows. There were 4 big ones and 2 babies. The babies stayed in the shade but the big ones lumbered over to us and we got to feed them! Dylan did it once and found out that cows have very long and rough tongues! That was all he needed he was done, but did enjoy watching the cows eat. Brady liked to throw the food over the side for the cows. What a fun experience!! Then the wagon took us far away and into the patch. We jumped out and saw sooooo many pumpkins! And so many different kinds. Dark orange ones, bumpy ones, tall, short, fat, huge, red ones, etc! Brady found his pretty quickly then carried it around. I found a slightly smaller one with a long stem and tried to trade him but he told me "NO, This Brady's pumpkin!" So he was done. Soon after Dylan found his and then we were on a hunt for Mommy's!! The boys helped and we found a big tall one for Mom! Then we got back on the wagon and headed for the farm. We had to play on the wooden train one more time and then finally made it to the pay area. Both boys got to pick out 2 little ones then we left! It was a crazy place but soooo much fun! It may be the only patch we go to from now on!
The other patch we went to was with Grandma and Auntie and Uncle! This one was Rock Creek Pumpkin Patch! IT was fun they had fields and fields on pumpkins!! And they have the best mountain backdrop!! We took lots of orange pictures and picked out 2 more pumpkins! We doubled this pumpkin visit with my birthday so we didn't stay and play but instead went out to lunch and then had a great time playing at Grandma's house!!
The following week was filled with getting stuff ready for a Halloween party that I was hosting with Kendra. Along with that was Dylan's school Parade and Halloween party. He was so cute and so excited to show off his Anakin costume and see what all of his friends were. Then he shared his party experience with his brother which was so sweet! They got to decorate their own cookies and eat them! Both boys thought that was a blast! After their food the boys took the pumpkins that they brought and drew faces on them then they hammered a golf tee into the top of them to make holes. They did this all over the top then put dum dum suckers into the hole that they made. The dum dums were the pumpkins hair! It was so cute and the boys loved doing it. Once Brady's suckers were in he continued drawing his face. As he did he worked his way through tasting all of his hair suckers!! So cute!!
The following day we helped Kendra host a super fun Halloween party at her house!! There was mummy juices, Halloween shaped turkey sandwiches, eyeball taco salad, mummy cheese, hot dog worms, Halloween shaped homemade chips, cake pops, cupcakes, and more!! We also had beautiful decorations, a gross out table, pumpkin bowling, glow stick balloons, playdough, a pumpkin pinata filled with goodies, and a donut eyeball making station! It was busy with 15 little ones running around but oh so much fun!! I can't wait until next years!
This brings us to this weekend where so far we have nothing planned!! But knowing us that will soon change!!! We are all looking forward to trick or treating on Monday but first need a little R&R this weekend!!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Funeral and a Mini Vacation
This past weekend we went on a road trip to New Mexico. We went out to celebrate the life of my Grandpa Bernie. It was a sad reason to go but it was as fun a trip as we could make it. We caravan out with my Dad and his girlfriend Becky. We left Friday night at 7!! Yikes it was late and after packing all day I was already tired....but we pushed through and made it to Alamosa to stay the night. The boys fell asleep in the car but then had a tough time going back to sleep once we got there. We arrived in Alamosa around 11:15 and Brady finally made it back to sleep about 12:45! Dylan didn't make it back to sleep until after 2AM!!!! Mommy woke up very tired at 7:30 the next morning! But wake up I did. Dylan and I let Daddy and Brady sleep a little more and we went downstairs in search of coffee (A LARGE ONE) and some Orange Juice! We found it, quickly, and a little food too and had a breakfast date just him and I. It is so rare that I get some one on one time with Dylan, that I relished the moment and enjoyed talking and listening to him. Eventually Pa joined us and not long after that Brady joined too. After breakfast we put on our swimsuits and headed to the pool. The boys loved it and enjoyed it even more when Pa joined us and took the boys on shark rides!
At 10 on Saturday morning we headed out of Alamosa and were on our way to Los Alamos, New Mexico! We caravan again and Pa took us on the most scenic route!! It was a little longer to our destination but we were in no hurry and were all enjoying the beautiful changing aspen trees!! Such brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds!! It was so worth the side trip! Kent was also excited about this leg because he got to eat some real New Mexican mexican food. It was delicious and everyone of us enjoyed it!! Even if they didn't want our money!! (No credit, no debit and no out of state checks!!! YIKES! Thank goodness for a Pa that carries cash!) Towards the end of this leg of the trip we got to see an awesome canyon and the house where Pa used to live when he was going to high school in Los Alamos!! It was fun to see these places.
That night for dinner we met my Mom and brother Topher. It was a somewhat awkward dinner but I think ALL parties handled it well. The worst part about the night was that the food and service took FOREVER!!! I mean forever! And then to top it off forgot my mom's dinner! Oh man!! We finally all got our food and ate it and it was delicious so at least one redeeming quality! Then a funny thing happened.....Kent payed for dinner and didn't look too closely at the check just handed over the card and signed his name. Well I took the receipt to look at later...wanted to see if they charged for my mom's dinner that they said they were going to comp, and what did I see but a they had added a gratuity onto the check! *Jaw drops* I couldn't believe it - I mean how dare they after the terrible service they gave us! After thinking on it I realized that including our kids we had 8 people eating dinner and most restaurants add it for parties of 8 or more. So ok....I suppose that is ok. But in realizing this I looked at Kent...."Did you add a tip onto the bill"...."Of course I did." OOPS!!!!!!!!!!! Kent gave them $20 tip and they had added a $20 tip already on there. So we had terrible service and a dinner that lasted 2 hours and Kent gave them a $40 tip!!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha - NOT!!! Oh well at least the food was delicious!
Sunday morning we wake up have some breakfast at our bed and breakfast and get ready for the memorial for my Grandpa. It was held up on the Ski mountain and the view was so pretty. We ate some food and listened to some pretty awesome stories and loving memories of my Grandpa. It was a very moving time.....especially when my Dad for up to talk. I almost missed it as I was checking on the boys and Kent who were "hiking" around outside. I headed back in with Brady and saw my mom and Becky across the hall crying....then I heard my Dad talking. And I thought ok Dad is up there, and he is such a good speaker I am sure he is saying such wonderful things. But as I am listening, I hear all of that, as well as him crying. Now I don't know if you all know much about my Dad, But I have been on this earth for almost 29 years and have NEVER seen my Dad cry! I mean NEVER!!! It was all it took and I broke right down too! Brady kept asking me if I had gotten a bonky because I was crying. Such a sweety! My Dad's closing statement was "He may not have been my real father, but he will always be my father!" It was so fitting and so right and just made the tears come out more! It was interesting for me to see the emotion....I had never knew that my Dad and Grandfather were so close. It was a very nice memorial but it is always hard to say goodbye to someone that you love. If I could pass one thing on from my grandfather it would be to live everyday to its fullest and to not let a day go by with at least one I love you!
After the memorial it was time to head home. Phew!! My Dad and Becky were staying a little longer and then going a different way home so we caravan home with my Mom and Topher. We plugged HOME into the GPS and started driving. We made it to Pueblo for dinner with only 2 stops in between. Pretty good. We ate at a Cracker Barrel for dinner, YUM-O my favorite and so fun! Upon hearing where we were going for dinner Dylan says, "I like Crackers!" So cute and so funny and no he did not eat crackers! After dinner the boys got to pick out a toy for being such great boys on the trip. Then back into the car and on the way home! We made it home about 10:30 unloaded the boys into their beds clothes and all!! It was a long short trip and I am glad we made it. It was wonderful for us to be able to celebrate my Grandpa and to be there for my Dad. I hope another extended family vacation is on its way because this one was so fun! Next time a just because I hope!!
At 10 on Saturday morning we headed out of Alamosa and were on our way to Los Alamos, New Mexico! We caravan again and Pa took us on the most scenic route!! It was a little longer to our destination but we were in no hurry and were all enjoying the beautiful changing aspen trees!! Such brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds!! It was so worth the side trip! Kent was also excited about this leg because he got to eat some real New Mexican mexican food. It was delicious and everyone of us enjoyed it!! Even if they didn't want our money!! (No credit, no debit and no out of state checks!!! YIKES! Thank goodness for a Pa that carries cash!) Towards the end of this leg of the trip we got to see an awesome canyon and the house where Pa used to live when he was going to high school in Los Alamos!! It was fun to see these places.
That night for dinner we met my Mom and brother Topher. It was a somewhat awkward dinner but I think ALL parties handled it well. The worst part about the night was that the food and service took FOREVER!!! I mean forever! And then to top it off forgot my mom's dinner! Oh man!! We finally all got our food and ate it and it was delicious so at least one redeeming quality! Then a funny thing happened.....Kent payed for dinner and didn't look too closely at the check just handed over the card and signed his name. Well I took the receipt to look at later...wanted to see if they charged for my mom's dinner that they said they were going to comp, and what did I see but a they had added a gratuity onto the check! *Jaw drops* I couldn't believe it - I mean how dare they after the terrible service they gave us! After thinking on it I realized that including our kids we had 8 people eating dinner and most restaurants add it for parties of 8 or more. So ok....I suppose that is ok. But in realizing this I looked at Kent...."Did you add a tip onto the bill"...."Of course I did." OOPS!!!!!!!!!!! Kent gave them $20 tip and they had added a $20 tip already on there. So we had terrible service and a dinner that lasted 2 hours and Kent gave them a $40 tip!!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha - NOT!!! Oh well at least the food was delicious!
Sunday morning we wake up have some breakfast at our bed and breakfast and get ready for the memorial for my Grandpa. It was held up on the Ski mountain and the view was so pretty. We ate some food and listened to some pretty awesome stories and loving memories of my Grandpa. It was a very moving time.....especially when my Dad for up to talk. I almost missed it as I was checking on the boys and Kent who were "hiking" around outside. I headed back in with Brady and saw my mom and Becky across the hall crying....then I heard my Dad talking. And I thought ok Dad is up there, and he is such a good speaker I am sure he is saying such wonderful things. But as I am listening, I hear all of that, as well as him crying. Now I don't know if you all know much about my Dad, But I have been on this earth for almost 29 years and have NEVER seen my Dad cry! I mean NEVER!!! It was all it took and I broke right down too! Brady kept asking me if I had gotten a bonky because I was crying. Such a sweety! My Dad's closing statement was "He may not have been my real father, but he will always be my father!" It was so fitting and so right and just made the tears come out more! It was interesting for me to see the emotion....I had never knew that my Dad and Grandfather were so close. It was a very nice memorial but it is always hard to say goodbye to someone that you love. If I could pass one thing on from my grandfather it would be to live everyday to its fullest and to not let a day go by with at least one I love you!
After the memorial it was time to head home. Phew!! My Dad and Becky were staying a little longer and then going a different way home so we caravan home with my Mom and Topher. We plugged HOME into the GPS and started driving. We made it to Pueblo for dinner with only 2 stops in between. Pretty good. We ate at a Cracker Barrel for dinner, YUM-O my favorite and so fun! Upon hearing where we were going for dinner Dylan says, "I like Crackers!" So cute and so funny and no he did not eat crackers! After dinner the boys got to pick out a toy for being such great boys on the trip. Then back into the car and on the way home! We made it home about 10:30 unloaded the boys into their beds clothes and all!! It was a long short trip and I am glad we made it. It was wonderful for us to be able to celebrate my Grandpa and to be there for my Dad. I hope another extended family vacation is on its way because this one was so fun! Next time a just because I hope!!
My Boys My Life!
So.....a post about my boys......
Dylan - Very smart, handsome, beautiful blue eyes, fun, funny, loving, and fantastic!
Brady - A smart 2 year old, such a cutie, fantastic blue eyes, alays laughing, loves to scream, great smile, and funny.
I am sure there are lots and lots more things I could attribute to them but that will do for now. I love watching them, individually and together and with other people. They adapt well with everyone and everything we do. And for the most part love everything we do!! That makes life so much more easier for me! Whether we are going to school, cleaning the house, at the grocery store or on a fun adventure my boys roll with it all and it amazes me at how well they really are during all of those activities and more! I have been blessed with 2 pretty fantastic boys. Because of how wonderful they are I LOVE taking them wherever I can and showing them the world! Both their brains soak it up and talk about it for days if not weeks ahead!
Such good boys deserve the workd and I intend to give it to them!
Dylan - Very smart, handsome, beautiful blue eyes, fun, funny, loving, and fantastic!
Brady - A smart 2 year old, such a cutie, fantastic blue eyes, alays laughing, loves to scream, great smile, and funny.
I am sure there are lots and lots more things I could attribute to them but that will do for now. I love watching them, individually and together and with other people. They adapt well with everyone and everything we do. And for the most part love everything we do!! That makes life so much more easier for me! Whether we are going to school, cleaning the house, at the grocery store or on a fun adventure my boys roll with it all and it amazes me at how well they really are during all of those activities and more! I have been blessed with 2 pretty fantastic boys. Because of how wonderful they are I LOVE taking them wherever I can and showing them the world! Both their brains soak it up and talk about it for days if not weeks ahead!
Such good boys deserve the workd and I intend to give it to them!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Time is fleeting
As September hits I am reminded of all that I have and what a fun and glorious year it has been. I love having 2 boys that are starting to get along like brothers should! They are really starting to play together and it is so much fun to watch!! I love watching them when they don't know that I am and how wonderfully they can get along with each othe and how much fun they have with each other!!
In a few days Dylan will be off to school for his second and last year of preschool. He is excited and I am as well. I love watching him grow and learn and be excited about learning more! His mind is a sponge and I love watching it grow! I can not wait to see what this new school year brings him!
I am also excited to spend some time with Brady and watch him grow into himself as he goes from 2 to 3! I can only hope to encourage and inspire his learning and wild imagination and crazy energy! When fall comes I like to reflect on the times and fun that we have had and learn from them to encourage them to continue.
Time is running and I do everything in my power to slow it down occasionally and live in it! But at the same time I am always looking forward to tomorrow and what is may bring to my family and my boys!! Come on fall I am ready!!
In a few days Dylan will be off to school for his second and last year of preschool. He is excited and I am as well. I love watching him grow and learn and be excited about learning more! His mind is a sponge and I love watching it grow! I can not wait to see what this new school year brings him!
I am also excited to spend some time with Brady and watch him grow into himself as he goes from 2 to 3! I can only hope to encourage and inspire his learning and wild imagination and crazy energy! When fall comes I like to reflect on the times and fun that we have had and learn from them to encourage them to continue.
Time is running and I do everything in my power to slow it down occasionally and live in it! But at the same time I am always looking forward to tomorrow and what is may bring to my family and my boys!! Come on fall I am ready!!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Being a Mommy
Alright I have been contemplating this post for a long time but feel it is time to get it out!
I have wanted to have children for a long time. When we first found out we were pregnant with Dylan I was ecstatic, could have been a little better timing, but in the end it was perfect!! I felt like my dreams were coming true. And then you hold your baby for the first time and your heart just melts. I was his and he was mine and I couldn't wait for us to be together! The exact same was true for Brady. The feelings didn't diminish at all because he was baby number 2. It only intensified! It is amazing and a miracle that a heart can love so large and so freely.
But in becoming a mother so begins the endless stream of doubts. Did I handle that the right way? Oh why did I yell about that? Was that the best I could have done? Do I love my boys enough? Do I show them my love enough? Are they happy? Are they safe? The list goes on and on. And it is a list you don't think about until you have a beautiful bundle wrapped in your arms and around your heart! The most important question you ask and one I ask myself everyday is Am I doing the right things?
I worry that I handle every situation that comes up wrong. And after I am done with the situation I wonder how could I have handled it better. I always feel that I do the wrong things and say the wrong things. But as a mother you don't get a grade or someone telling you that yes that was the right thing to do or oh hell you screwed that one up. It is fly by the seat of your pants and hope for the best. It is hard to think that yes I have handled some things wrong. When those times happen I look back at them and think Oh my what did I just do? Do my boys still know that I love them?
I don't have all the answers but I am trying to figure them out as I go. I watch other mothers and see how they handle things and then try to see if they work for me. Being a mother is something that I have always wanted to excel at. It makes my heart ache to think I could be doing it wrong. I only want the best for my children and hope that I can give them my best in return. As the boys get older I find myself being harder on them and I worry if my firmness is too much, They are still my little boys but I want them to be my good little boys too. It is hard to find a balance in parenting. Am I being to soft or was that too hard? The questions and doubt have a way of nagging on my mind and I worry.
Ultimately time will only tell if I am being a good mother or not. And I can only hope that in that time I can come to a realization that I am doing the best I can and my best IS good enough for them and for me.
I have wanted to have children for a long time. When we first found out we were pregnant with Dylan I was ecstatic, could have been a little better timing, but in the end it was perfect!! I felt like my dreams were coming true. And then you hold your baby for the first time and your heart just melts. I was his and he was mine and I couldn't wait for us to be together! The exact same was true for Brady. The feelings didn't diminish at all because he was baby number 2. It only intensified! It is amazing and a miracle that a heart can love so large and so freely.
But in becoming a mother so begins the endless stream of doubts. Did I handle that the right way? Oh why did I yell about that? Was that the best I could have done? Do I love my boys enough? Do I show them my love enough? Are they happy? Are they safe? The list goes on and on. And it is a list you don't think about until you have a beautiful bundle wrapped in your arms and around your heart! The most important question you ask and one I ask myself everyday is Am I doing the right things?
I worry that I handle every situation that comes up wrong. And after I am done with the situation I wonder how could I have handled it better. I always feel that I do the wrong things and say the wrong things. But as a mother you don't get a grade or someone telling you that yes that was the right thing to do or oh hell you screwed that one up. It is fly by the seat of your pants and hope for the best. It is hard to think that yes I have handled some things wrong. When those times happen I look back at them and think Oh my what did I just do? Do my boys still know that I love them?
I don't have all the answers but I am trying to figure them out as I go. I watch other mothers and see how they handle things and then try to see if they work for me. Being a mother is something that I have always wanted to excel at. It makes my heart ache to think I could be doing it wrong. I only want the best for my children and hope that I can give them my best in return. As the boys get older I find myself being harder on them and I worry if my firmness is too much, They are still my little boys but I want them to be my good little boys too. It is hard to find a balance in parenting. Am I being to soft or was that too hard? The questions and doubt have a way of nagging on my mind and I worry.
Ultimately time will only tell if I am being a good mother or not. And I can only hope that in that time I can come to a realization that I am doing the best I can and my best IS good enough for them and for me.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Phew!
Well a lot has happened since the last post. And let me first say that I thought this would be easy....just pop on here a couple times a week post some stuff and be done! But WOW it is hard to find the time to write and what exactly I want to say! But I am here and ready to push at it!
We went on vacation for 11 days. It is a lot to pack for and took me the good size of a week to do it!! We were driving, staying along the way to our destination, and going to the beach. All of those seperate things needed to be packed for. Not to mention that I have a boy that needs bottles and diapers still, so add another layer on. Once the packing was done the bags all had to get into the car, along with the toys and books to keep a 4 and 2 year old busy on the drive! But on Thursday July 28 we were on the road!
The trip was full of fun and oh so very tiring for a parent!!! I was told that when you have children in tow it is not a vacation but a trip!! And boy was that true. It was fun to see my boys light up at all the lego stuff in Legoland and smile big at Shamu at Sea World, but by the drive home I was exhausted! But in the end and after a week back at home I can honestly say that it was worth it all! I loved looking at the pictures and remebering the little things about the boys.
So let me say to those with small children remember "trips" are well worth it in the end, just grind your teeth and get through them, then look back fondly of the fun times that were shared while you were there!
We went on vacation for 11 days. It is a lot to pack for and took me the good size of a week to do it!! We were driving, staying along the way to our destination, and going to the beach. All of those seperate things needed to be packed for. Not to mention that I have a boy that needs bottles and diapers still, so add another layer on. Once the packing was done the bags all had to get into the car, along with the toys and books to keep a 4 and 2 year old busy on the drive! But on Thursday July 28 we were on the road!
The trip was full of fun and oh so very tiring for a parent!!! I was told that when you have children in tow it is not a vacation but a trip!! And boy was that true. It was fun to see my boys light up at all the lego stuff in Legoland and smile big at Shamu at Sea World, but by the drive home I was exhausted! But in the end and after a week back at home I can honestly say that it was worth it all! I loved looking at the pictures and remebering the little things about the boys.
So let me say to those with small children remember "trips" are well worth it in the end, just grind your teeth and get through them, then look back fondly of the fun times that were shared while you were there!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Reading and Getting Lost
My name is Kira Engler and I have an addiction -
I have been reading and reading and reading! I can't stop! I think all 3 of my boys are ready to take away my library card, but I won't let them!! I can't help myself, I simply love to read. It takes my mind off of all of the things that I need to do and out of my life. All that without taking me away. I simply get lost inside of books. I feel like it is an escape from reality, which I suppose is the meaning of reading anyway. But I have been steadily reading for about a month and a half. I can get a book read in about 2 or 3 days depending on the other daily activities.
Life for me consists of 2 little boys, 1 big boy, a dog, and a house with stuff that needs to be done. When I have my nose in a book, and because of my eyes it normally really is in the book, I let all of those things slip into the back of my mind. It is the only thing that I do that takes everything out of my mind. Whether there are sad, happy, discouraged or angry thoughts in my head, a book simply takes them all away. Reading is the ONLY thing that clears my head. I can get lost in the book so much that I usually speed through and forget big parts. Which is really a gift so then when I read the book again it is often like reading it for the first time! I am a Mystery reader so I always want to read it straight through so I can know who did it. Often skipping the mundane to get to the meat. I also have a TERRIBLE memory so when I reread the book I always forget who did it or how they were caught. Silly to read and forget but lovely to go back and reread with the same intensity as the first time around!!
After I finish a book it takes about 5 minutes to pick up a new one! Now I don't neglect my boys; I feed them when they are hungry, I bath them so they are not smelly, and I love them throughout. But they know when mom has her book stay away!! Now in trying to find time to read said books I often forget to eat myself and skip the shower to read instead. I am trying to fit everything in and find it is hard but worth it in the end to have a little time to and for myself. Now I have to stop typing so that I may go back and finish my book!
I have been reading and reading and reading! I can't stop! I think all 3 of my boys are ready to take away my library card, but I won't let them!! I can't help myself, I simply love to read. It takes my mind off of all of the things that I need to do and out of my life. All that without taking me away. I simply get lost inside of books. I feel like it is an escape from reality, which I suppose is the meaning of reading anyway. But I have been steadily reading for about a month and a half. I can get a book read in about 2 or 3 days depending on the other daily activities.
Life for me consists of 2 little boys, 1 big boy, a dog, and a house with stuff that needs to be done. When I have my nose in a book, and because of my eyes it normally really is in the book, I let all of those things slip into the back of my mind. It is the only thing that I do that takes everything out of my mind. Whether there are sad, happy, discouraged or angry thoughts in my head, a book simply takes them all away. Reading is the ONLY thing that clears my head. I can get lost in the book so much that I usually speed through and forget big parts. Which is really a gift so then when I read the book again it is often like reading it for the first time! I am a Mystery reader so I always want to read it straight through so I can know who did it. Often skipping the mundane to get to the meat. I also have a TERRIBLE memory so when I reread the book I always forget who did it or how they were caught. Silly to read and forget but lovely to go back and reread with the same intensity as the first time around!!
After I finish a book it takes about 5 minutes to pick up a new one! Now I don't neglect my boys; I feed them when they are hungry, I bath them so they are not smelly, and I love them throughout. But they know when mom has her book stay away!! Now in trying to find time to read said books I often forget to eat myself and skip the shower to read instead. I am trying to fit everything in and find it is hard but worth it in the end to have a little time to and for myself. Now I have to stop typing so that I may go back and finish my book!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tiny Town, Birthday fun and a long trip down the stairs
WOW! That's about all I can say about the day today. It had really felt like 2 or 3 days wrapped into 1!! Started the day with an outing to Tiny Town. We have been there before but I think the boys had more fun today. Brady was a baby the first time so he doesn't count. But anywhere he gets to walk around and touch things is a good place in his book! And there was plenty of that today. Brady had fun folowing all the BIG boys around and his favorite part was the playground for sure!! Dylan had a better time this time then the first. He found the houses more exciting and liked linking what was inside of them to their names. And all the boys had fun playing inside the houses!! The train was fun as well and a little scary for a Mommy, but well worth it! Everyone liked seeing the houses from a train seat and hearing the whistle toot!!!
In case that wasn't enough fun for a day we had my nephew's birthday today. He turned 9 on the 9th! Already his special birthday and he didn't even know or get it! Oh well!! But we celebrated tonight with playing in his backyard, BBQ, legos, presents and cake!! A fun time had by all! Dylan just LOVES following Jack around and getting to play with whatever he has. I find that it is like looking in a time machine when I watch them play together....because soon enough it will be MY boy that is turning 9! WOW what a thought! I had a rough time with 4 so I'll hold off on thinking about my baby being 9! Brady likes getting into all the older kids stuff! My what a pill that little boy is! Good thing he is darn cute!!!
While at the aforementioned birthday party Brady decided to scare me half to death!! Okay I'll be honest he done scared me all the way to death! Brady, Kent, Dylan and Uncle Keith were playing upstairs at Uncle Keith's house. Keith and Dylan headed down to tell Gramie and Grandpa goodbye and get our stuff to get ready for us to leave. Brady began to head toward the stairs as Kent turned the lights off upstairs. I had stepped out front with Auntie Kim and Gramie to watch the WONDERFUL light show mother nature was putting on. In the background I hear Kent yell to Brady, "Brady wait for me...." Of course as soon as Kent finishes the statement we hear the unmistakable thump thump thump of a person rolling down the stairs. I ran inside just as Uncle Keith swooped Brady off the next to last step! But alas too late the damage was done and the crying insued! I was so worried for my little baby. I took him from Uncle's arms and snuggled him close while he cried! It is the toughest thing for a parent, I think especially a mommy, when your child's crying in your arms and you aren't too sure where the hurt is! So we rocked and soothed until we could get a good look at Brady. He has very little damage from his fall down 15-20 stairs!!! It is amazig to me how strong and fragile these kids are!! No longer than 10 minutes after the whole ordeal started Brady was off and running! Got a couple of good head/forehead bumps and might have a black eye tomorrow. But all in all nbo worse for the wear!!! PHEW!!!!!!!!!!! What a relief! I was steps away and couldn't stop him in time! Kent was steps away and couldn't stop him! Hard as a parent to hear you child go through something that could have been prevented only if.......Too bad I hadn't wrapped him in his protective bubble that day.....Too bad the stairs were hardwood and not bouncy carpet......Too bad I let him get out of my arms at the party....All of these thoughts and others cross into my mind....Even (unfortunately) why couldn't Kent have said screw the lights and carried Brady down the stairs.....(Still feel bad about that fleeting thought!) But after Brady had run around for awhile and Kent found him jumping off the bottom stair, I figured this will be the first mistake or hardship of many that Brady will have to face. I cannot wrap him in bubble wrap, I cannot bring carpet everywhere I go, I cannot keep him in my arms forever!! I have to let him learn and grow and can only hope that I give him the tools that he needs to learn from his mistakes and go forth in the world with open arms. I don't want to isolate him, but am pretty sure that every time something like this happens I will have those fleeting thoughts of keeping him safe in my arms for eternity!
It was a long and fun day and I love it when those days are like that! Keep it coming summer fun!
In case that wasn't enough fun for a day we had my nephew's birthday today. He turned 9 on the 9th! Already his special birthday and he didn't even know or get it! Oh well!! But we celebrated tonight with playing in his backyard, BBQ, legos, presents and cake!! A fun time had by all! Dylan just LOVES following Jack around and getting to play with whatever he has. I find that it is like looking in a time machine when I watch them play together....because soon enough it will be MY boy that is turning 9! WOW what a thought! I had a rough time with 4 so I'll hold off on thinking about my baby being 9! Brady likes getting into all the older kids stuff! My what a pill that little boy is! Good thing he is darn cute!!!
While at the aforementioned birthday party Brady decided to scare me half to death!! Okay I'll be honest he done scared me all the way to death! Brady, Kent, Dylan and Uncle Keith were playing upstairs at Uncle Keith's house. Keith and Dylan headed down to tell Gramie and Grandpa goodbye and get our stuff to get ready for us to leave. Brady began to head toward the stairs as Kent turned the lights off upstairs. I had stepped out front with Auntie Kim and Gramie to watch the WONDERFUL light show mother nature was putting on. In the background I hear Kent yell to Brady, "Brady wait for me...." Of course as soon as Kent finishes the statement we hear the unmistakable thump thump thump of a person rolling down the stairs. I ran inside just as Uncle Keith swooped Brady off the next to last step! But alas too late the damage was done and the crying insued! I was so worried for my little baby. I took him from Uncle's arms and snuggled him close while he cried! It is the toughest thing for a parent, I think especially a mommy, when your child's crying in your arms and you aren't too sure where the hurt is! So we rocked and soothed until we could get a good look at Brady. He has very little damage from his fall down 15-20 stairs!!! It is amazig to me how strong and fragile these kids are!! No longer than 10 minutes after the whole ordeal started Brady was off and running! Got a couple of good head/forehead bumps and might have a black eye tomorrow. But all in all nbo worse for the wear!!! PHEW!!!!!!!!!!! What a relief! I was steps away and couldn't stop him in time! Kent was steps away and couldn't stop him! Hard as a parent to hear you child go through something that could have been prevented only if.......Too bad I hadn't wrapped him in his protective bubble that day.....Too bad the stairs were hardwood and not bouncy carpet......Too bad I let him get out of my arms at the party....All of these thoughts and others cross into my mind....Even (unfortunately) why couldn't Kent have said screw the lights and carried Brady down the stairs.....(Still feel bad about that fleeting thought!) But after Brady had run around for awhile and Kent found him jumping off the bottom stair, I figured this will be the first mistake or hardship of many that Brady will have to face. I cannot wrap him in bubble wrap, I cannot bring carpet everywhere I go, I cannot keep him in my arms forever!! I have to let him learn and grow and can only hope that I give him the tools that he needs to learn from his mistakes and go forth in the world with open arms. I don't want to isolate him, but am pretty sure that every time something like this happens I will have those fleeting thoughts of keeping him safe in my arms for eternity!
It was a long and fun day and I love it when those days are like that! Keep it coming summer fun!
First Time Out
Ok here we go!
This is the first time I have done this so things might be rocky at the start but hopefully I will be able to learn quickly/ Any tips are welcomed!
I wanted to have somewhere that I could write up my days expierence and figured this was the best and quickest way. If you find I boar you well then stop reading. If you find yourself interested then woo hoo for you! Know that I will write a LOT about my boys, rmember fair warning. I want to be able to look back through my year and see what I did and how my boys grew through it. I am going to try to update daily, but that might be a little much even for me (IF you know me you know I like to talk so.....) so I will instead try to stick to at least once a week!
I am excited to share my daily life with the world!
This is the first time I have done this so things might be rocky at the start but hopefully I will be able to learn quickly/ Any tips are welcomed!
I wanted to have somewhere that I could write up my days expierence and figured this was the best and quickest way. If you find I boar you well then stop reading. If you find yourself interested then woo hoo for you! Know that I will write a LOT about my boys, rmember fair warning. I want to be able to look back through my year and see what I did and how my boys grew through it. I am going to try to update daily, but that might be a little much even for me (IF you know me you know I like to talk so.....) so I will instead try to stick to at least once a week!
I am excited to share my daily life with the world!
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